I accidentally ate in McDonalds.
Basically I was in Patong in Phuket and had been drinking all day and hadn't eaten anything and was waiting for the bus to pick me up and take me to Simon's Transvestite Cabaret (that was quite good...if you haven't seen a fat tranny miming to Tina Turner's Simply the Best and a load of lady boys mincing about in Egyptian costume beneath a giant fake Sphinx to the strains of Boney M then you probably haven't lived. The fat tranny aside there where a lot of very convincing men/women on display. Penis-schmenis..we're all people!) and I needed to eat something so nipped into a nearby branch of MD and ordered a burger but the woman thought I meant a meal so I ended up having to eat it.
The traditional greeting in Thailand is the wai - a prayer-like gesture with the palms placed together accompanied by a small bow. As you can see from the sculpture outside (sculpture is too grand a term but I'm not sure what else to call it) McDonalds has incorporated this into their sales pitch. I'd like to see one in a heavily Catholic country like Spain or Ireland with it's arms spread wide and it's head on one side, possibly with I Am The Way written above it or possibly Take Eat, This Is My Body And My Blood Which I Give In Remembrance Of Thee though I realise that would be a bit fiddly to render in neon.
So I went from Phuket to the island of Phi Phi (pronounced Pee Pee though it could just as easily have been Shit Shit) which is a nice island unfortunately covered by a building site and crammed full of really loathsome Westerners who deserved to get swepted away by a tsunami. There was some important football match on yesterday, Celtic Rangers versus Jesus or something and every bar and restaurant had it blaring out of their t.v.s whilst sunburnt idiots cheered as if the outcome was actually important to their pitiful lives. Christ football is shit and everyone who cares about it is a twat.
Still, once that had ended the bar I was in had a boxing ring in the middle and I got drunk whilst watching pissed up tourists kick the crap out of each other which was quite funny.
I also (finally) did a snorkel which was good. Saw a sea-snake! Am now horrendously sunburnt and am trying to decide whether to go Kayaking tomorrow or whether to hide in my room covered in wet towels.
The traditional greeting in Thailand is the wai - a prayer-like gesture with the palms placed together accompanied by a small bow. As you can see from the sculpture outside (sculpture is too grand a term but I'm not sure what else to call it) McDonalds has incorporated this into their sales pitch. I'd like to see one in a heavily Catholic country like Spain or Ireland with it's arms spread wide and it's head on one side, possibly with I Am The Way written above it or possibly Take Eat, This Is My Body And My Blood Which I Give In Remembrance Of Thee though I realise that would be a bit fiddly to render in neon.
So I went from Phuket to the island of Phi Phi (pronounced Pee Pee though it could just as easily have been Shit Shit) which is a nice island unfortunately covered by a building site and crammed full of really loathsome Westerners who deserved to get swepted away by a tsunami. There was some important football match on yesterday, Celtic Rangers versus Jesus or something and every bar and restaurant had it blaring out of their t.v.s whilst sunburnt idiots cheered as if the outcome was actually important to their pitiful lives. Christ football is shit and everyone who cares about it is a twat.
Still, once that had ended the bar I was in had a boxing ring in the middle and I got drunk whilst watching pissed up tourists kick the crap out of each other which was quite funny.
I also (finally) did a snorkel which was good. Saw a sea-snake! Am now horrendously sunburnt and am trying to decide whether to go Kayaking tomorrow or whether to hide in my room covered in wet towels.
posted by Ben at 5:20 AM
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