Look...Hove Town Hall with tanks in front of it.

This is the Reunification Palace in HCMC where communist troops overthrew the Vietnamese Republic in 1975. In 1868 a residence was built here for the French governor and after the French left Vietnam it became home to South Vietnamese President Ngo Dinh Diem. He was so unpopular that in 1962 his own air force bombed the palace in an attempt to kill him. He ordered a new palace built on the same site (with a bomb shelter and underground communication rooms from which to quell rebellions) which was finished in 1966. The result is what the guidebook describes as "an outstanding example of 1960s architecture." Well it is an outstanding example of 1960s architecture but whether that means it's any good is another matter. The inside is a curious mix of tasteful and elaborate Asian style and godawful mid-sixties sofas and chunky brown chairs. All in all a great place from which to organise resistance against armed insurgents...or possibly host Abigail's Party. I'm not kidding. All that's missing is the fondue set and soda-stream. Would have posted pictures of the interior but due to my wonderful eye all the pictures I took made it look quite nice. By the way, Diem was killed by his own troops in 1963.

Will wonders never cease?

Look, some contemporary Vietnamese art that isnt plops!

What the?

This was on the wall of a guesthouse I stayed in at Mui Ne.

Brilliant! Best thing so far!

I went on an island hopping boat trip from Nha Trang and the last place we went to was this bizarre aquarium on Hon Mieu Island. You walk through the fish and proceed to the Pirates of the Carribean style ship which houses the fish. I could have spent the whole day there. Shame the gift shop was rubbish.

By the way, there was swimming and floating bar type activities off the boat and I had nothing to wear in the water so I hired this shocking pink affair from the trip organisers. I think it brings out the colour in my soul.

FISH!

The Octopus Bar is definately getting a mention in Geoff.

Shame I didnt have time to get blind drunk there. Although maybe that was for the best.

Nazi monks, nazi monks, nazi monks...

...FUCK OFF!!!! That's a Dead Kennedy's reference and if you dont get it I dont care.

Yes, it's yet more Buddhas....

...but look...here's Jesus! This was taken at a Catholic church in Nha Trang. It was too dark inside to take photos but it was good to see a tortured, guilt-laden religious figure nailed to a plank in a gloomy setting after all these serene smiley outdoor types.

Look, this photo was my guide's idea...

...and he was the one driving the moped okay?

Me at the My Son ruins.

Vietnam...a summary.

I haven't posted for a while as the internet is painfully slow in Vietnam and in many cafes I haven't been able to open this site at all, besides which, uploading my photos is the priority and once they have finished I have usually been on line for an hour and a half.
As I have finally managed to log onto Blogger I thought I would give a brief run down of my Vietnam visit so far before I head to Ho Chi Minh City tomorrow (or possibly the day after).

Crossed the border from Laos on the 8th and ended up in Vinh which is about halfway up the country. There's nothing in Vinh thanks to the sterling work carried out by American bombers and warships during the war, although as America never declared a state of emergency it was never technically a war. Perhaps we should refer to it as the Vietnam Spat or Tiff.

Headed up to Hanoi which was very nice and a change after Laos as there was stuff going on and hot running water and a magic box in my hotel room that showed flickering images that told stories!

Went to Halong Bay which was pretty good but the weather wasn't perfect. It's actually the wintery/rainy season in the north of Vietnam at the moment so it was a bit misty. Then headed to Nimh Binh which was even grimmer than Vinh but without the excuse of having had the crap bombed out of it. However I did go to Tam Coc which is near there and is basically Halong Bay in rice paddies. 'Twas here I purchased that wonderful embroidered item that has predictably attracted absolutely no interest.

Then went to Hue where the weather was pretty bad so I only stayed a couple of days. Nice place though.

Next Hoi An which is a small, quiet picturesque place on account of emerged from the four million wars Vietnam has been involved in over the last eight thousand years inexplicably unscathed. Also the town planning has been handled with some care so any new buildings have to constructed with some care in order to match the old. As a result there aren't any Communist style concrete monstrosities blotting the landscape. I bought a couple of suits here which look nice but are no doubt made of a really crappy material which will fall apart after being worn once. The owner of the shop tried to set me up with her cousin who is studying in Ho Chi Minh but I politely declined.

From here I visited the ruins at My Son (pictures to follow) and then headed to Nha Trang. Nha Trang is a beach resort which is supposed to be the brash, hedonistic party capital of Central Vietnam but I saw precious little evidence of this though I did take a boat trip to some nearby islands where the emphasis was on boozing which was quite fun. Also the wind at this time of year in this part of the country meant that you couldn't relax on the beach with a beer without half of it getting blown away all over the person next to you. Still, I guess you could sit downwind of everyone with your mouth open.

Next I went to Mui Ne (which is where I am now) which is another beach resort but the opposite of what Nha Trang is (supposed to be) like i.e. quiet and upmarket. The trouble is there doesn't actually seem to be a seafront. The beach is completely cut off behind an endless row of hotels which I guess you need to be staying at in order to get to. I shall hire a moped today and see if I can find a chink in the armour and will also check out the fabled and much photographed sand-dunes nearby. After that I will head to Ho Chi Minh as my month here is fast coming to an end and there is a lot to see and do there, plus I have to make time to get through the Mekong Delta to the border crossing with Cambodia.

By the way, I ate grilled Barracuda yesterday. It didn't taste like chicken.

I like this photo.

Climbed to the top of that bastard a couple of days ago.

Halong Bay

This is me at Halong Bay.

Yes, this could be yours!

I took a boat trip round Tam Coc today and the women rowing the boat try and sell you their embroidery (and they really dont take no for an answer) so just to shut them up I bought this charming item, now being offered as the prize for the challenge posted below on account of the fact that I really dont want it.

Dont all rush at once.

Yep...it's another Buddha.

I know there have been a lot of Buddhas on this blog but I was forced to admit that this was quite a nice one...and it comes in two colour tones! Heck, when your a revered mythical deity you can do whatever you like I guess.

A Challenge!!!

The contemporary art in most of the museums/galleries in Vietnam is pretty bad (it was quite good in Thailand and practically non-existent in Laos) generally being copies of existing painting styles. This one really made me laugh but while I reconise the artist's style that has been copied (though I'm fairly sure he never included Kalishnikovs or RPGs in his paintings) I cant think of his name. If anyone can enlighten me you'll win an incense burner shaped like a dragon or something equally as tacky.

It's great this blog...you get entertained beyond your wildest dreams, learn things and get the opportunity to win touristy crap! (And I dont want to hear from just Gabriel)

Come on...Stalin wasnt all bad.

These heroic communist style statues were all over Hanoi. It's strange seeing communist symbols like the hammer and sickle above shop doorways and flying on flags when you are a child of the Eighties and grew up in the certain knowledge that commies were sneaky slant eyed bastards or hulking great muscle-bound thugs in dire need of a thorough cleansing in the fire from automatic weaponry, preferably automatic weaponry in the capable hands of Mr Sylvester Stallone (havent been able to find a cinema showing Rocky Balboa yet...oh the humanity).
The guy with the three-pronged sink-plunger pops up a lot. At first I thought he was a really dynamic plumber who heroically unblocked drains during the war of American aggression but then I found out that the thing he's holding is a three-pronged bomb used by suicide squads to destroy French tanks at the start of the National Resistance War in December 1946. Live and learn.

I am Captain Caucasian from the Milky Bar Planet in the Blond Nebulae!

Or possibly Blond Boy from the Milky Bar Planet in the Caucasian Nebulae....or maybe Colonel Caucasian from the Planet Blond in the Milky Bar Nebulae...anyway, you get the general idea.
I know I havent posted for a while so here is a very brief rundown of my recent activities.
I left Vientiene on the 3rd and went to Paksan (which was crap so I just stayed overnight) then to Ba Na Hin (which is a very small 'town' in the middle of nowhere but is quite nice..it was here that I felt like Captain Caucasian, think I'll have to get that printed on a T-shirt, and got stared at by all the children) from where I got a songthaew (half taxi/half truck) to Tham Lot Kong Lo (a really big cave, 100m high and as wide in some places, where a river runs through a mountain that you can take a boat along) then I stayed overnight at a nearby village then I went to Lak Sao (which was also crap and I only stayed one night) and then my visa for Vietnam finally kicked in so I headed to the border and finally arrived in Hanoi at 3.30am on the 9th. It was a bitch of a journey and I got ripped off a little by my transport (which is kind of obligatory) but Hanoi is really good, very lively which is nice after the past couple of weeks in Laos which have been spent in fairly primitive accomodation in extremely quiet places. My room in Hanoi has a bath (a BATH I tells ye!) a fridge and a T.V.! So I have spent the last few days having baths, drinking beer from the fridge and watching crap films on HBO. Oh, and I also visited the War Museum, Museum of Fine Art, Ho Chi Minh Museum, Museum of Vietnamese Revolution and took in a Water Puppet Theatre Show. Oooh arent I cultural? I was thinking of going to the Hanoi Opera House tonight but there is a ballet version of West Side Story playing which I didnt fancy.
Will be heading to Nimh Binh tomorrow and will try to post some pictures soon depending on how long this machine takes to upload them.

By the way, the cave shown is not the one I've mentioned. It was one near Vang Viang from which operations were planned during the war.
Later.